When throwing a punch: →
thnafu: • Use the hand you write with. • Make a fist with your thumb outside, not tucked inside. If it’s tucked inside your fist, when you punch someone, you might break your thumb. The thumb goes across your fingers, not on the side. • Don’t be like in the movies—don’t aim for the face. Face punches don’t usually stop people, and you can miss when they duck their head or break your hand on...
80 years from now;
Granddaughter: GRANDMA ARE YOU OKAY?
Me: //laughs// HELP I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP
Granddaughter: Grandma this isn't the time for your old 2000 jokes!
Me: WATCH OUT WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE
hulkruffalo: WHO’S STRONG AND BRAVE HERE TO SAVE THE AMERICAN WAYYYYYYYYYYYY WHO VOWS TO FIGHT LIKE A MAN FOR WHAT’S RIGHT NIGHT AND DAYYYYYYYYYYY WHO WILL CAMPAIGN DOOR TO DOOR FOR AMERICA CARRY THE FLAG SHORE TO SHORE FOR AMERICA FROM HOBOKEN TO SPOKANNNNNNNE THE STAR SPANGLED MAN WITH A PLANNNNNNNNNNNN
whenthesuspenderscomeoff: it’s weird how being a pussy is weak and having balls means you’re tough i mean punch me in the uterus and i will be fine i’m used to that shit once a month come at me but if i kick you in the balls you are down my man you are down hard